Social Media and Aspies

 I like to write eloquently on a computer or on paper. But it is amazingly difficult to translate these ideas into verbal communications when speaking to another person. Then add to the fact the sense of dread that freezes these ideas when involved in a social interaction with a person.  I become reclusive as a result. There were many times in high school where friends would invite me to parties and girls would playfully flirt with me. I pretty much stonewalled on these interactions and shied away from them. The failure was not on my wanting, because I wanted to party with my friends and was desperate to correctly respond to the flirty advances. But I didn’t know how to do so nor was I aware of why. So most of my life in high school was withdrawing myself from everyone and reading or writing random or academic notes. In fact, I found my social need satisfied writing random nothings and school essays.

Staring at a sheet of paper was an intimate conversation with one’s own mind and translating it into ink. No stressful interactions, no miscommunication between the thoughts and vocal ideas, no need to decipher the movement and words of the recipient of your ideas. It is just you and your notes. But something miraculous happened in the twenty first century. Social media provided a venue for Aspies, like me, to interact without the burden of dealing with social cues of individuals. Random chatrooms became havens because I didn’t feel the need be careful of my words to the recipients. Strangers whom I never met were perfect to speak on my thoughts and emotions. These were people who would respond like humans but you would never meet. And you were just a random name or number to them. The anonymity of the internet allowed me to understand and craft social skills that would help me interact offline with friends. Celebrity chatrooms, 4chan, and then Reddit became perfect places for someone like me to open up and overcome my social deficiencies. In later years, Facebook and tumblr helped the transition from conversing with digital accounts to real friends who would converse on and offline. My diagnosis and treatment of Asperger Syndrome also helped with the transition to have healthy relationships and communication. It was in the latter years of my Bachelor studies and grad school where I finally had friends, fell in love, and survived the fallout of both.

Social media helped me and probably other Aspies in their journey to be among the neurotypicals (NTs). It wasn’t the exclusive tool I had to talk with NTs, but it was essential to do so. While I like to be reclusive, I now venture out into society to fill my need to communicate with other human beings. We are social creatures and Aspies are no different. It is just a matter of finding a way to channel the ideas swimming in our heads.